It’s 2019, Are You Considering a Change in your Living Situation?
We just came through the holidays and as you are probably aware while it is one of the happiest times of the year, it is also the most likely time when an older family member passes away. Sure enough, we lost a family member a week before Christmas. Now their immediate family is in the process of making the decision where the spouse should live.
As we age the idea is to not be a burden on our family. However, most people are not prepared to make an unbiased decision of weather they should stay in their home or not. If they are going to stay in the home should they have “At-Home Care”. If not staying in their home should they buy a condominium, move in to assisted living, move in with family or exactly what?
“Time.com” money section has good article on talking with parents about moving. It is not an easy conversation to have but very important one. http://time.com/money/4575291/talk-to-parents-leaving-house/ Better to have this conversation as early as possible when parents can emotionally handle it. Better still, if you’re a parent to make a plan, including finances and have it ready for your kids to see what your desires are.
If physically or mentally a parent has a sudden change and they do not want to listen to their children “A Place for Mom” has excellent article on how to work through this. https://www.aplaceformom.com/blog/2-25-15-expert-tips-when-parents-wont-listen/ It starts with accepting the situation as it is and working from there, don’t beat yourself up over should of, could of.
If assisted living is the correct living situation for your parent(s) but they are afraid of the cost or uncertain if it will be right for them “Senior Living” has information that is helpful: https://www.seniorliving.org/caregiving/elderly-refuses-assisted-living/. Frankly, most of us think of senior living facilities as cold heartless and scary. Having a friend that manages a senior living facility and having been inside to visit with people there, it is really a much better living situation for many elderly men and women than staying at home.
Your home is more than just where you live, but it should not become a burden to you or your family. Before you have to make a decision, it best to make a plan. Start with knowing what your home value is by having an in-person market value completed. Also get a list of any repairs or maintenance that is needed to make the home financeable and marketable. Decide what you can afford to take care of either by hiring professional help or family working together. Then write down your parents’ wishes and desires, what the family members wishes and desires are and how you can mesh these together. Finally, set a standard for physical and mental abilities that are needed to stay in the home. If either are diminished below that standard have a written agreement as to what is to happen. That way you can avoid family conflicts and heartache.
Jim Clifford has been a Real Estate Broker for more than 40 years with over 5,000 listings sold. He can be reach at 253-826-7513 or email [email protected]